Soft Serve
We've been putting together Thanksgiving-themed story packages at the newspaper, from survival guides on what to wear to how to handle those inevitable family faux pas with amazing grace. Yet, the one scenario none of us really covered was how to react when your separated parents announce that the immediate family is all reuniting for this most traditional of feasts for the first time in two years ... in a restaurant ... in the Village ... literally called, "The Village Restaurant."
So many questions, so many concerns ... and what to wear is the least of them.
1 - Will Mom and Dad behave? Fortunately, we're all more or less on good terms again, but Dad does have a tendency to act like "The Office's" Michael Scott, hahaha. Famous "Dad Moments" do include choice phrases such as, "Listen kids: Drinking to get drunk, is NOT where it's at," and "Nobody makes rice like the Chinese." With booze involved, things could get interesting.
2 - More importantly, will the kids behave? Granted, said-kids (my siblings, natch) are now 17, 20 and 21 years old. But still. The one previous instance where we did Thanksgiving in a restaurant, we discovered on the way out that one brother had been swiping silverware the entire time. The exchange went something like this:
As we exit the eatery feeling sated and exhausted, the first brother says, "Hey, look what I got!" and pulls out a couple of silver spoons from up his sleeve.
We gasp, someone smacks him upside the head, and mom sarcastically says, "Well, the least you could have done was grab some forks, too-"
when on cue, the second brother pulls out two forks and says, "Don't worry, I've got it covered."
3 - Concerns over the fallout with the REST of the fam after striking off on our own. I'm already envisioning conversations for the next 12 months running something like this:
"It's a shame you weren't at your uncle's" ...
"You missed so-and-so, who came down from Massachusetts, and you should have seen the baby" ...
"Come look at the pictures from Thanksgiving! We all really missed your family" ...
... annnnd so on. True, I know the words aren't all that harsh; but you should hear the delivery. Nobody guilt-trips like Grams.
On the bright side:
Downtown dining is easy as hell for me; all I have to do is hop a subway, while everyone else is stuck driving or training it in.
Bonus: I don't even have to clean my apartment, because there's no WAY the family is going to trek up to Spanish Harlem and then brave four flights of stairs to see where I live, hahaha. My big task is to figure out where to take everyone after the meal, as one brother and sister are too young to hit any bars. It's a tough decision between the Port Authority Bus Terminal or the Rockefeller Tree. I suspect the bus terminal is more entertaining.
So many questions, so many concerns ... and what to wear is the least of them.
1 - Will Mom and Dad behave? Fortunately, we're all more or less on good terms again, but Dad does have a tendency to act like "The Office's" Michael Scott, hahaha. Famous "Dad Moments" do include choice phrases such as, "Listen kids: Drinking to get drunk, is NOT where it's at," and "Nobody makes rice like the Chinese." With booze involved, things could get interesting.
2 - More importantly, will the kids behave? Granted, said-kids (my siblings, natch) are now 17, 20 and 21 years old. But still. The one previous instance where we did Thanksgiving in a restaurant, we discovered on the way out that one brother had been swiping silverware the entire time. The exchange went something like this:
As we exit the eatery feeling sated and exhausted, the first brother says, "Hey, look what I got!" and pulls out a couple of silver spoons from up his sleeve.
We gasp, someone smacks him upside the head, and mom sarcastically says, "Well, the least you could have done was grab some forks, too-"
when on cue, the second brother pulls out two forks and says, "Don't worry, I've got it covered."
3 - Concerns over the fallout with the REST of the fam after striking off on our own. I'm already envisioning conversations for the next 12 months running something like this:
"It's a shame you weren't at your uncle's" ...
"You missed so-and-so, who came down from Massachusetts, and you should have seen the baby" ...
"Come look at the pictures from Thanksgiving! We all really missed your family" ...
... annnnd so on. True, I know the words aren't all that harsh; but you should hear the delivery. Nobody guilt-trips like Grams.
On the bright side:
Downtown dining is easy as hell for me; all I have to do is hop a subway, while everyone else is stuck driving or training it in.
Bonus: I don't even have to clean my apartment, because there's no WAY the family is going to trek up to Spanish Harlem and then brave four flights of stairs to see where I live, hahaha. My big task is to figure out where to take everyone after the meal, as one brother and sister are too young to hit any bars. It's a tough decision between the Port Authority Bus Terminal or the Rockefeller Tree. I suspect the bus terminal is more entertaining.
posted by Nicole Pesce | 11/16/2007 08:24:00 PM
2 Comments:
I don't know why you're kidding yourself. You know the sibs under 21 can walk into any bar in the village and hang out or get served; your folks don't seem like the type to care that much; and the Port Authority Bus Terminal is so much better on 4th of July anyway. D'uh.
I wasn't going to comment until I noticed the word verification was "muthur".
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